I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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