That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
