is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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