i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
