I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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