I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Randomize
