she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
