i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
