Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
