He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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