I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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