i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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