I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
