dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
