if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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