Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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