It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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