quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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