I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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