My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I look better un-naked...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
