Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she woke up with a sticky ear
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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