you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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