oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
