This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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