I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
