so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
