no, he came in my armpit
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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