Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
