May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
