i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
