Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Someone signed my nipple.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
