This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize