I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
