Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
