Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
