therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
