I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
