I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
