great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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