I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
