im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize