I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
