In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
