I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
