i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
