yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
