He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
