soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
