God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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