About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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