it hurts more in the daytime
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
