I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
