We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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