i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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