I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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