Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
