Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize