I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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