I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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